Well, we just passed 4 years. I haven’t posted anything in a while, but just got a question and comment that has brought me back to this site for a few more thoughts. Let me simply share my thoughts as they come to my mind….
First, your church will eventually forget. There will always be scars for some, but what we are seeing is that there will be people who will come to your church who will know nothing of what has happened.
Our pastor has gone on with his life. He married the other woman, left the ministry completely and has tried to rebuild his life. His name rarely comes up in our church anymore. We certainly don’t discuss it. To be honest we are simply tired of talking about him, the affair and our ordeal. It’s a relief to not think or talk about the affair.
A pastor’s affair is extremely destructive! It will cost most churches dearly and will take years to recover from. The normal statistics are that about 1/3 of your church will leave. I think we have seen a higher percentage of people leave for a number of reasons.
We have a new teaching pastor now, but the church is completely different. It will always be different after an affair. It will never be the same as it was. You need to know that. You need to talk about that.
Our church is a multi-staff church. We have had several pastors and other staff leave over these 4 years. The rest of the staff is still wounded. We pretend we aren’t, but we are. Wounds take time to heal, but the scars last much longer than we are willing to admit.
Christians don’t really believe that sin will hurt them. We see it in our culture, in our families and in our churches, but sin always leads to death. Death of a dream, death of a church, death of a marriage, a family, a life. Sin destroys lives.
We think we can hide it, but we can’t. Here is something you need to know – You will never find happiness disobeying God. Never.