Another pastor has fallen

I can always tell when a pastor is caught in adultery.  It’s crystal clear.  My visitor count goes up dramatically!  On a normal day I might have 25-30 people stop by and read an article, take a look or make a comment, but there are days when the visitor count goes up to 200!  It’s on those days I know another pastor has fallen and the church family is looking for answers, looking for help.

If you’re stopping by because your church has just discovered the pastor’s sin take a moment and tell your story.  Our goal here is to help other churches and believers, 1. know how to deal with the fall of a pastor and, 2. try to prevent it from happening in the future.

Today the numbers are up.  Another pastor has fallen.  It happens far too often.  Let us know how we can pray for you.

10 responses to “Another pastor has fallen

  1. Thank you so much for your website. It has provided a lot of encouragement. My church found out this week that my pastor had been in a year long affair. it’s a very hard time but this website has given me so much encouragement and direction.

  2. Our church found out Sunday that our pastor has been involved in an “emotional” affair with a woman in our church. He did appear before the congregation just as the service ended (have a call and a text from 2 people telling him he needed to come and handle this like a man) and made a statement much like we have heard from politicians that he had hurt his wife, hurt his family, done some good things in his ministry, some bad and this was one of them, but he had given it his best shot and was resigning. There was no evidence of brokenness, remorse, repentance or asking for forgiveness. Mostly we are still in a state of shock. Pray for us as we begin to deal with the fallout from this, and as well begin the search for a new pastor.

    • Mary, I’m so sorry to hear about your pastor and church. Do encourage your elders to visit this site for some help and direction. I’m convinced, after seeing this happen more than once, that remorse, repentance and sorrow is usually missing when a pastor is “found out” and the sin is not revealed by his repentance. Repentance will take time, if it comes at all. I will be praying for your church. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help you and your church family.

  3. tomorrow the Pastor of my church will confess to the congregation about his affair that may lead to the birth of a child. 😦 please pray for this body of Christ. because along with the new mercies and joy that comes with the morning, so will the earthquake that is going to devastate the lives of many sheep.

  4. DC, I prayed for you. How did the announcement go? I know there is no harder day than the one when they announce this sin. Let me know what I can do to help you and your church.

  5. Mike-
    It went, well- like something very akin to a funeral. shock, anger, grief, sorrow, despair, and, large amongst these – betrayal. like a suicide- we didnt see it coming but the signs sure were there- but yet the damage has already been done.

    the Pastors family has asked to remain in our fellowship and i am truly thankful that God has not led them elsewhere because it is an amazing picture of Christ-like Agape to see the wife, in all her pain and humiliation, to come alongside her reppenent husband and be willing to let God be glorified (which she also did when she stood up and worshipped God with hands held high:).

    I’m not sure I exactly agree how it was handled (an outside Pastor was invited in to deliver a MSG before the confession, at the request of the fallen Pastor’s wife) because even though it was done in a Biblical way (public rebuking), there was an air about it that made it feel that because the family had forgiven him, it didnt really matter if the congregation did. I mean it was delicately but plainly approached but.. Idk. Nevertheless, it was definitely a relief to have the issue out in the open since there had been so many things going up and down “the grapevine.”

    It’s so confusing. Not even just in that “how can this happen?” but now, rather, its like “so now what?” They didnt really explain or inform the Body what is going to happen in terms of leadership. they really made it seem like there would just be a “rotation” of Pastors/Speakers until my Pastor is restored.. Lol thats pretty humorous because who but God can put a time on healing? lol I mean this is not funny but it just really seems like everyone is so shellschocked by this experience (we NEVER EVER would have thought this to happen because of the Testimony of my Pastor, which includes being saved from drug use and adultery in the beginning of his marriage before he got saved 18 years ago) that even the elders arent sure what to do.. my Pastor has been leading our church for 7 years but the church has been around for 40 years (all the Pastors are of the same bloodline) so there are many who arent sure what to do themselves.. so if the Shepard’s are confused and conflicted and dissenting amongst one another, how then can the sheep, whom many have now fallen spiritually ill after such a tragedy, be tended back to health to eat and graze the Word of God in fellowship? I mean what is fellowship after this supposed to look like and what is supposed to be preached on?.. I am a youth leader amongst several and we are all so bummed and unsure of how to handle this.. do we have an open forum for the kids or do we follow suit and continue discipling as we were… I just dont know how we could even do that yet we arent sure how to move forward, other than to keep our eyes and focus on Jesus during this violent storm.

  6. Thanks DC, I will be praying for you and the church. It is difficult to handle well, but I do pray that the pastor has at least a couple years away from the pulpit to heal and get some counseling. Thanks for sharing the story and do let me know how things develop, ok?

  7. We have just found out that our Lead Pastor had an affair and ended it 3 years ago but never told his family or the elders until last week. Shocked doesn’t even begin to describe how we feel. We are a church distributed so there is a central location with 2 satellites. We just secured a small building last September, moving out of a local High School auditorium, and now this. I am thankful that our satellite location has a very hands on area Pastor but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I am now embarrassed and mortified to share with people in our small community what church I attend. It took us so long to find this church after a few other churches we attended fell apart, for completely different reasons, shortly after we joined. I don’t think as a family we have what it takes to begin looking for another church but I also feel like I am carrying the shame of a sin I didn’t commit.
    I went from being a proud member of this church to feeling like a loser…. Every day there is a new headline in the local paper and although I want to stay it is incrediblely frustrating to feel like we’ve unknowingly involved ourselves with yet another unhealthy church. I just want to scream, “Really? Are you kidding me.” We know what comes next….the mass exodus of people we just spent 2 1/2 years getting to know yet they’ll find somewhere new to flee to while we pick up the pieces. Is this just the new norm???

    Thank you for a place to vent, to learn, to not be alone…..

  8. Mom21, I do so understand how you feel, having been through it here, but let me encourage you to stay in your church. Don’t be embarrassed by his sin, simply acknowledge to anyone who asks, “yes, our pastors are sinners just like we are….that’s why we needed a savior.” Yes, many will leave, but encourage those you can to stay and see what God does with the church. God is a God of redemption…taking sin and brokenness and glorifying his son through the redemption that follows. Do encourage the pastoral staff that remains. Don’t be a consumer and run away. The pastors in any church you go to are sinners too….maybe not in an affair, but they have struggles of the flesh. I do too! That’s why we needed a savior, isn’t it? So, don’t feel shame, rejoice in God’s redemption. Encourage and pray for your pastors and church. Encourage others to stay and see what God does with all the broken pieces. Those who leave will miss the amazing work of God in your hurting and broken church. And, pray for the fallen pastor’s wife and kids. They are the saddest part of this story.

  9. It breaks my heart to read these after church…pastor after pastor falling. There is another side to the ‘affairs’ that pastors get caught up in. Actually, we don’t give the pastors enough credit for the amount of deception and planning that goes into this. I am the victim of pastoral abuse. It was NOT an affair. It is the same dynamic as a counselor/client or teacher/student relationship. There is an imbalance of power, and when the person who is responsible for maintaining proper boundaries (the pastor) fails to do so, it is abuse. I feel most for the poor women who get overlooked in these scandals. Everyone rushes to the side of the pastor’s family, but what about the woman? Rarely does she get help or get to tell her side of the story. Most of these women cower away in shame or seek private counseling, never bringing her abuser to account for what he’s done. A pastor is to live by a higher standard, and thus should be disciplined by a higher standard. If a counselor enters into a relationship with a client, they lose their license. They can’t counsel anymore. When a pastor seeks to enter into a relationship with a staff member or parishioner, it is abuse, plain and simple. Let’s call it what it is. There is no restoration. Forgiveness – absolutely. Restoration – no. A sacred trust has been broken that disqualifies him from leading a church.

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